Dear Strong, Bold, Beautiful Barnard First-Years:
In the wake of this unthinkable tragedy our community is facing, Barnard alumnae across the globe have written letters to support you. We can empathize with how the tragic loss of Tess Majors’ life might have shaken the beginning of your Barnard journey.
Barnard is a remarkable home, which belongs to us all. We hope our handwritten letters will offer you an ounce of comfort, strength, and bravery. Let the words of generations of Barnard women, who have traversed the campus, just as you are, be a reminder that you are never ever alone. You have us in your corner, and we are holding you close to our hearts.
These letters belong to you. This is a digital version, and there are physical copies in the Dean Grinage’s Office as of 12/17/19. Our Barnard bond is simply unbreakable—and amidst this difficult time, we are humbled to welcome you into our family, which Tess will forever be a part of.
With Love,
Nikki Weiner
Class of 2014
If you need anything or would like to connect, please reach out to me: nikkiweiner2117@gmail.com I can also help directly connect you with other alums!
These letters belong to you…and we welcome ALL STUDENTS to read ❤ There are physical copies in Dean Grinage’s Office as of 12/17
Dear Barnard First Year,
As you move through the next days, weeks, and months following this tragedy, I hope you will remember some of these truths:
The greater Barnard community, from the staff to your professors to the Barnard alumni across the world, are mourning with you and are here to support you. Do not be afraid to reach out, or to ask for help if or when you need it. There is so much compassion and care to be found.
Because you are indeed a part of a unique and wonderful network, one that extends far beyond campus. Your Barnard community will sustain and lift you up, now, and for the rest of your life.
You have so much ahead of you, at Barnard and beyond. There is so much you will discover and embrace and create. Because you are a Barnard student, I am sure you will do all of that boldly, with curiosity, compassion, and an open heart. And in doing so, you will honor Tess and her promise.
You are strong and resilient, and you are not alone.
Please reach out if you want to, and know that I and alums around the world are thinking of you and your fellow students.
With love and compassion,
Sujata Bajracharya
Class of 2015
sdbajracharya@gmail.com
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Dear First Year,
I can’t imagine the palpable sadness and grief that is circulating on Barnard’s campus right now. I’m feeling that in my gut and know it must be so terrifying to be going through this tragedy as a fellow first year student. I’m so sorry for this immense loss to the Barnard community and the world. This time of year is especially tenuous. I remember feeling full of doubt about what my college experience would be like and who my friends even were at this point—all without going through something like this. Know that the Barnard community is a fiercely strong one and you are all resilient individuals made stronger by the fact that you exhibit bravery on campus day in and day out in the ways you stand up and speak out for the values you hold dear. I got a text this morning from a fellow Barnard alum checking in about the news—she was not someone who I knew in college and now is one of my closest friends in the world. Barnard bonds transcend space and time and I hope you get to experience the beauty of those bonds firsthand. Know that you will get through this moment and this year as you support others and let yourself be supported by others. Barnard showed me the power of truth and vulnerability, and I know your time there has so much wonder and growth for you in store. Wishing you warmth, strength, and love.
Lilli Flink
BC 2013
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Dear Brave, Bold, Beautiful, and Boisterous First-Year,
Even as a writer, I cannot grasp the right words to comfort you during this tragic time. If I could take away the pain from you and your classmates, I would do so in a heartbeat. I cannot fathom what you’re going through right now. But please know that a network of thousands of Barnard alumnae has your back and we’ll always be here for you. You might not want to believe this right now, but you WILL get through this horrific time and you WILL come out stronger than ever before. It is an understatement to say Tessa Majors’ life was stolen from her way too early in the worst way possible. But I hope the memory and legacy of her will push you to make the most out of your Barnard experience and beyond.
We see you, we feel you, we hear you. If you ever need someone to talk/vent to, I’ll always be here for you — I’m literally only a subway ride away!
My deepest condolences,
Sarah Kim
Class of 2017
sk@beingsarahkim.com
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Dear Sister,
Your first year at Barnard is a rollercoaster. You deal with a lot of change —a ton of challenges — and the real world has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it (and the timing usually couldn’t be worse…).
With that said, it is also an exciting year. You learn so much about yourself, make new friends and build diverse relationships. You get to decide who you want to become in a city that brings every corner of the world together; an unpredictable, international, concrete jungle. At risk of sounding trite, the sky truly is the limit. While there are so many things to celebrate about our journey at Barnard, there are, and will be, setbacks.
When I received the news this morning about Tessa, I was shocked and deeply saddened. I can only begin to imagine how you must feel. Tragedy is an inevitable part of growing up and what happened to our classmate is heartbreaking. Times like these often leave you feeling hopeless and alone. Just know that you are not alone. The Barnard sisterhood spreads far and runs deep. If you ever need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to call me. I am here for you, always.
Sending love and positive energy.
Adrienne Nel
adriennen94@gmail.com
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Dear Barnard first year,
I am sure you are feeling scared, hopeless, and numb right now. As someone who just graduated and left our Barnard home a few months ago, I myself am feeling shook to my core. While words cannot fully encapsulate our grief, and while nothing can fill the void we are feeling right now, I did want to say this. Barnard woman are remarkable. We are strong, we are bold, we are compassionate, we are a community. In the past 12 hours, I have seen Barnard women of all ages and generations come together to spread messages of warmth, and comfort. I have seen people on social media and in person do their part to remind one another that we are loved, and we are safe.
You have joined a group of groundbreaking humans who will never leave your side, who always have you in your corner. Tragedies should never happen, but at least at Barnard, tragedy is never faced alone. You are not alone, and generations of Barnard women stand with you.
Warmly,
Shreya, Barnard 2019
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Dear Beautiful Barnard Student,
I was shocked to hear of the violence against one of our students in Morningside Park. I hope you know that alums around the world are thinking of Tessa, and of you, and sending you love and strength. We are a strong, tough bunch – but don’t forget that allowing yourself to be vulnerable is strong and tough too. I know the end of the semester is already a very challenging period, but I hope you take time to be with loved ones. Remember to cherish all the moments you have at Barnard, to take the painful with the inspiring, the frustrating with the exhilarating. You are part of an incredible legacy, and your fellow alums are always here, cheering you on.
If you would like to contact me, my email is gs2089@alum.barnard.edu, or you can find me on Instagram @gs2089 (yes I really did use my Barnard email as my Insta handle!).
With love and solidarity,
Gauri Saxena | BC ’06
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Hi, you don’t know me, but I’m a Southern California-based Barnard alumna, and we as a community absolutely support you and support all of you. You’re not alone. It’s ok to cry and feel scared. It’s ok to not know what to think and feel. It’s ok to grieve. Everything you’re feeling is ok. You’re part of a community of strong women, and we are sending you love and strength.
-Solvej Schou (Class of 2000)
solvejschou@gmail.com
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Dear Barnard First-Year,
I’m Eliza Chung, BC’03, and fellow resident of the Morningside Heights neighborhood (mom, teachers, education professor). In the face of tragedy or frustrating circumstance, I look to the wise words of Barnard Alum, Margaret Mead:
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
First, take care of yourself, then look for ways the world needs you. You are part of a big network of strong Barnard women who have previously walked those brick paths. We are thinking of you, believe in you, and eager to have you join us in making the world a better place. Feel free to reach out if there’s a way I can be helpful (resume, internship search, meeting for a cup of tea, etc).
Never Worry Alone,
Eliza Chung
echung@theschool.columbia.edu
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To a bold, beautiful, Barnard woman:
Words cannot express the horror surrounding this crime. I’m not much older or wiser, but I must tell you that it is okay to let it overwhelm you, grip you, and affect you. We all grieve, and my heart breaks for the Barnard community – and you. Tessa was brilliant and very brave, and her spirit will be remembered and celebrated despite the cruel way she was taken. The Barnard community is strong, and so are you. We’ll be here for you.
Take care of yourself and be well.
Love, MJ (BC ’16)
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Dear Bold, Beautiful, Barnard freshman,
I remember being in your place four years ago. Freshman year is not easy: for some, it’s a move to a new city. For most, it’s the first time living without your parents. For all, it’s new classes, new friends, new beginnings. Oftentimes, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement and commotion of it all that you barely have time to stop and breathe.
And sometimes, tragedy strikes. The loss of Barnard freshman Tessa is one that I’m sure you and the people around you must feel on a very personal level, and it is one that reverberates throughout the Barnard and Columbia community. Without wanting to put words in your mouth, we imagine you must naturally be feeling a combination of sadness, anger and and fear. As an attempt to give you even an ounce of comfort, I and the alumni network wanted to extend to you and your class our deepest condolences.
The Barnard network goes beyond campus. Around the world, we are thinking hard of each and every current student entering your first finals season during such trying times.
You are not alone in this grief. Please take the time this week to process the news, be with your close ones, and let the healing process begin. We’re right there with you and have faith that you and the strong women around you will get through this, one day at a time.
Please do not be afraid to ask for help from those around you. If you’d like to talk, do not hesitate to contact me at elena.fineberg@gmail.com. We wish you the very best of luck over the next few weeks and in your studies.
Love,
Elena Fineberg
Class of 2018
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To My Barnard Sister,
In this very difficult time and always know that you have 1000’s of Barnard sisters who are standing with you, wishing you well and believing in you. May you always feel the support of the amazing community that is Barnard and as you read this message, may you be strengthened. HUGS!
-Avis Hinkson ’84
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To the bold, beautiful Barnard woman reading this:
You have permission to cry. You have permission to be angry. You have permission to love and be loved, and know that the entire Barnard community is doing just that. May we all remember the boldness and beauty that Tessa had, and may we remember her strength when we feel weak. There are no words to the grief and pain you and her family feel. Take care of yourself.
All the Love,
Lauren Lantry, Class of 2017
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Dear Strong, Bold, Beautiful Barnard Sister,
I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling right now. What should be a happy time of the year, is now shrouded in tragedy and despair and confusion. There is nothing I can say to lessen the pain you are feeling or to take away this situation – I wish there was. I hope you are finding solace in your fellow students, teachers, and great BC community. Please know that there is an entire group of Barnard alums that are here for you, and willing to help you in whatever way you need.
Being at Barnard was such a special time in my life, and it hurts me to know that my fellow sisters are struggling right now. Please know that it’s okay if you don’t know how to feel right now – it’s a scary, confusing time. Take some time today to take deep breaths and just to let yourself feel without judgment. If there is any form of self care that you prefer (I love face masks and yoga), it’s okay to treat yourself right now. You deserve to feel okay, and to do whatever will make you find clarity and peace. Maybe invite a fellow sister!
If there is anything I can do, any comfort I can offer, or if you just need someone to talk to, I am here. I am based in the greater NYC area (Jersey City) and you can contact me at caro.gerlach@gmail.com if you need anything.
With lots of Sisterly love,
Carolina Gerlach, BC’15
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Dear Strong, Bold, Beautiful Barnard Sister,
I cannot even imagine the pain and sorrow that fills your heart and soul right now. Whatever it is that you’re feeling in this moment, know that it’s okay to feel it. Sadness. Anger. Fear. A combination of feelings so mixed up, you’re not even sure what you feel…it’s all okay. When we’re filled with these big feelings, it’s important to find a release or an outlet-whether it’s crying, talking to a counselor, or journaling-please know there are those who want to see you, hear you, and support you.
Be gentle to yourself during this time. Find time to take care of yourself and love yourself, because you are perfect just the way you are, and you deserved to be loved and cared for. As moments of joy begin to creep in or you feel a smile spreading on your face, embrace it. You’re allowed to live your life and feel happy even during the darkest of times.
Grief looks and feels different for everyone; it’s not true that every day gets easier, because some days and moments will feel really heavy. And that’s okay. The days of heaviness will lessen over time as you embark upon your healing journey. Know that I and your Barnard sisters from all over the world are sending you so much strength and love during this difficult time.
In Peace,
Rachel Cherrick, Barnard 2013
PS I’m a licensed clinical social worker, so am here if you would like to talk on the phone or correspond via email. My email is Rachel.cherrick@gmail.com.
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Dearest Strong, Bold, Beautiful, and Brilliant Barnard sister,
From across the country in California, this tragedy has struck me hard in the chest and put everything else on hold. I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be feeling and experiencing now on campus, in a community so full of strength and kindness. Know that that community will always be here for you, whether it’s tomorrow for a cup of tea while the rain falls heavy with grief on the windows of the Diana, or if it’s 20 years from now as you publish a book, perform a masterpiece of yours, present your discoveries, or simply gift the world your smile. We are here as family, now and far into the future; in times of great success and love as well as in the depths of our sadness.
Your fellow bold and beautiful Barnardians are such a gift. I regret not spending more time sharing insights, questions, secrets, fears, and myself with my classmates while at Barnard. There will always be more to do and see, but what’s most important is exactly what’s in front of us in each moment. Let us mourn the death of such a shining soul as Tess was, and also celebrate the light she brought into this world. Let us remember that though each of us is limited in the time we spend on this earth, we are entirely unlimited in our potential to love, heal, learn, and share.
Never forget how bright a light you are, especially when it seems all others have gone out.
We love you. You are not alone.
Danielle YoungSmith
Class of 2016
dyoungsmith@gmail.com
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Dear Strong, Bold, Beautiful Barnard sister,
I know you are going through trying times right now. This tragedy has shook all of us to our very cores. I want you to know that your community – your Barnard family – is with you in this difficult time. Whether you knew Tessa or not, this tragic time will live on with you and with us for years to come. She seemed like a wonderful person from everything I have learned about her after her passing and I can only wish her friends and family peace & love at this time.
Just know that you can do it. You can make it through these finals – whether you need to postpone them or you feel ready enough to tackle them right now – you will get through it. You will persevere and you will shine bright and let your light into the world and carry on what Tessa was robbed of.
Barnard was and still is the greatest gift to me. The people you will bond with here will make your life feel whole in a way you didn’t know was possible. Lean into them in this period of need. Hold each other close and always make sure you know there is help and support in anyway you need within this community. Please take care of yourself and shine bright. We are here for you.
If you ever feel the need to reach out, I’m a young alum BC’17, currently in law school. Feel free to hit me up – always here to be a resource.
Your Barnard sister,
Nadira Rahman
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Dear Barnard sister and friend,
I wanted you to know that I’m so sorry for the grief and pain you are experiencing right now. Tess sounds like she was an awesome woman and did tremendous things in the short time she was here. It’s incredibly unfair, it’s scary and it’s senseless. I hope Barnard can continue her legacy and support the fabulous causes she championed.
When I was a first year, I was beyond excited to be embarking on my Barnard journey. It was a fabulous four years for me, and if I could define my time in only one word, it would be friendship. I developed incredible friendships at Barnard and I am reaching out to you to let you know, I am your friend too. If you want to chat, if you want a free coffee, if you need something – please reach out. I am easy going and I live locally.
What happened to Tess is unfathomable and I want you to know the entire Barnard community wants to support you. Please take care of yourself and know Barnard is a community of strong women who support one another.
We are always stronger together.
With love and hugs,
Louise Enten
BC ‘08
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To a bold, beautiful, Barnard student:
It is hard to understand why the universe would take away a bright student just beginning her journey at Barnard. When I heard about the passing of Tess Majors, I was absolutely shocked and was at a loss for words. My heart is with the Barnard and Columbia community.
Barnard is a special place where support is always around the corner. Even during my hardest and hardest moments in college, I found help from professors, friends, and most importantly, the Furman Counseling Center. Also remember that Barnard support does not just come from those on campus. The large network of Barnard alumnus will always be a source of help. We are grieving with you and our hearts will always be with Barnard.
Feel free to contact me at jianiliang@gmail.com
All the best,
Jiani Liang, BC ‘19
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Dear bold beautiful strong barnard woman,
It’s okay today, and any day, not to feel bold, beautiful, strong. you have the strength of thousands of Barnard women that have come before and hold within you strength for the thousands more to come. Sending you everything and anything that you need.
- Inbar
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Dear current Barnard student, I am with you. I do not know you but I am with you just the same. All of your feelings, whether they be horror, sadness, anger, helplessness, fear, frustration, all of those feelings are valid. I want you to know that you are strong. You are resilient. You will get through this time. I encourage you to join together with other Barnard students to help make Tessa’s memory a blessing. Sending love and solidarity. Sherri ’00
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To a brave Barnard student:
I am so sorry. I am so sorry that this is how you are ending your semester, a time that should be unknown and thrilling and wonderful. I am so sorry that you are facing grief and fear. I hope for you that you feel held by your community on campus, that you feel like you have resources to reach to and people you can trust. I hope you can find safety and joy in and around campus, and that you can stay warm and good in your dorm when it’s too much. I hope you can take care of others and be taken care of yourself. This is so much for you to hold. I hope you know that it’s okay to demand accommodations right now. Everything can be released or retaken. Or I hope you find some solace in taking your finals, writing your papers, living your life.
It’s so hard and weird to feel both outside and inside a tragedy – as you must feel, as I do feel. Please know I am thinking of you right now. I am thinking about how I felt my first reading week and what it was like to stay up all night writing and see the Columbia lights turn off and then back on from my Sulz window. I am so sorry that this week will be so different for you. I so hope parts of it will be the same.
Be kind to yourself. Hug your family and friends. Take showers. Hydrate. Sleep.
I welcome your emails or Facebook messages if you want to talk – really.
Much love,
T.M. ’17
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Dear Bold, Beautiful, Barnard student,
It is with strength and sadness that I write this letter to you on the heels of this horrific tragedy that took one of our own. My sadness is through the loss of life and loss of innocence. My strength is through our community that spans generations. May you hold each other tight through these days ahead. Thinking about you.
-Rabbi Rachel Ain, BC/JTS ‘1999
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Dear Strong, Bold, Beautiful Barnard Student:
I graduated from Barnard 10 years ago. I recently found out about the horrible tragedy that befell your classmate and it hit me hard. I don’t know if you knew her or if you, like I, feel the loss because even without knowing her she was a member of our community. In either case, I am so sorry and I feel for you. You and your classmates are not alone. There are generations of Barnard alumnae here with you, myself included. If you need anything, please reach out. If you just want to talk, reach out. We are here for you. I am here for you.
Nicole Alongi
Barnard College class of 2009
njalongi@gmail.com
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To a fellow member of the Barnard family,
I can’t begin to imagine what you and your fellow first year community members are experiencing during this tragic time.
I am so sorry for your loss. While the next few weeks and months are going to be marked with profound sadness and grief, take comfort in knowing that you are surrounded by a community of classmates who will help you get through this.
Barnard women are resilient and I know every single first year student will move into their future honoring Tessa with their courageous work, no matter what path they choose to take in life.
Please do not hesitate to reach out during this difficult time.
With all my support and love,
Molly Scott
BC ‘15
Mollyscott131@gmail.com
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Dear Fellow Barnard sister,
My heart is heavy for Tessa, her family and for our Barnard Community. While I live in Cambridge, MA, please know that my thoughts are with every student on campus. If you feel that talking with someone with a Barnard connection would be helpful, please feel free to reach out. My mobile phone # is 617-216-6283. Please take care of yourself.
Mary-Ann Matyas, ’89
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I can only imagine how it feels to be on campus right now, and I am so sorry your first year was interrupted by such a terrible event. In this time of sorrow and shock and loss, try to be kind and accommodating with yourself and your peers. Cry if you need to, and know that there are thousands of Barnard sisters out here to listen and support you. I’m Class of 2013, and live in Jersey City. I would be happy to come to campus if you want to chat or just be near other people from our community. Please feel free to email me if you need anything: theabriggs@gmail.com.
Thea Briggs
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I am with you. I am thinking of you, I am holding you and our entire community in my thoughts. This is a senseless tragedy that is in so many ways completely unfathomable, and I cannot imagine what it feels like to be on campus right now. Take time to care for yourself- breathe, hug your friends tight, go on a walk in the fresh air and feel the sun on your face, find ways to hold those most important to you close, whether that’s by laughing with them, crying with them, and everything in between. Try and hold love for those around you, over fear. Part of why I loved my Barnard experience so much was that it felt like a community that supported me no matter what, and understood me on a deeply intense and personal level. I hope you know that the entire Barnard community- both on campus and off, current students and alums – are here for you. We love you and we support you. Take care of yourself, of your friends, as we begin to heal from this senseless tragedy.
Love,
Maddie Molot BC ‘18
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My bold, brilliant, beautiful Barnard sister –
I am with you. The Barnard community is with you as you grieve the loss of Tess, one of your own. From the moment I walked through the Barnard gates in 2009 to the second I stepped off the stage at graduation, my Barnard sisters have had my back. This community is like no other. Your bonds with your classmates will strengthen and grow throughout these four years, and even after graduation, your Barnard sisters will walk beside you through some of the most beautiful (and difficult) moments of life. There’s something in the fiber of our beings that bonds us to each other and to Barnard. In this moment, how lucky you are to have such a strong community surrounding you, with supportive faculty and staff and a president who is a truly compassionate leader. Allow yourself to mourn and comfort your sisters. You need each other, now and always.
A few quotes from fellow Barnard Bears to carry you through this storm and give you hope for days ahead:
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Anna Quindlen, BC ’74
“I think, as adult women, we’re always walking with our younger selves. I feel like I’m always answering to her, about whether I’m being as brave as I could be, or as big as I could be, or as ambitious as I could be.” Greta Gerwig, BC ’06
Reminders to keep being honest with yourself during your time at Barnard. Do great things for your community and the world! But most importantly, make yourself proud. You got this.
In solidarity,
Maeve Kelly BC ’13
marmstrongkelly@gmail.com (if you’d like to contact me)
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Sending so much love to you and the Barnard community. I’m a 2016 alum living in Brooklyn, and this news completely shocked me. It feels so heavy, but I hope you take solace, as I do, from the incredible love and support in our strong Barnard community. This is a senseless tragedy. I’m trying to remember that pain is love, and proof of our humanity. Please, anyone reach out who wants to talk. Talking and feeling are significant acts of strength and boldness. Love, Lizzy Wolozin, lizzywolozin@gmail.com
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Hello,
My name is Amanda Rossillo, BC ’17. We alums want you to know that we’re all thinking about you in this distressing time. I can’t imagine the strength and complexity of the feelings you must be experiencing, especially so close to finals and the holidays. My heart is breaking 500 miles away. Please do whatever is necessary to take care of yourself. You may be grappling with some difficult decisions right now—just know that you’ll always be a part of this warm, supportive Barnard community wherever you go.
Please feel free to get in touch with me or any other alum at any point, seriously. I no longer live in NYC but I’m from the area, and would be happy to meet when I’m in town as well as write/email/text/call. If you happen to visit Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill in North Carolina, I’d be happy to meet here as well.
It’s okay to surround yourself with loved ones or take all the space you need. Just remember that you are not alone.
All my best,
Amanda
Amanda Rossillo
Email: arossillo158@gmail.com
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My Dear Younger Sister,
I don’t know you but I am concerned about you. How are you? Are you coping? Are you talking through your fears and feelings about what happened to Tessa? Do you have someone close with whom you can spill all the crazy, ugly, forbidden thoughts that may arise after experiencing a murder in your community? I hope you do. Having a non-judgmental confidant is crucial to mental wellbeing. I say that from much experience.
I am so sorry that this tragedy will forever be a part of your college experience. And I hope that you can heal a bit during the Winter break. Go easy on yourself.
Humans need humans. We all need contact and connection to survive. Please reach out if you want to. Or if you just want a pen pal!
With affection,
Clara (BC ‘07) (Attorney, mom, and expat) clarabryant@gmail.com
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Dear Bold, Beautiful, First-Year,
I want to acknowledge the pain and the bewilderment you must be going through right now. It’s so hard to make sense of a tragedy like this, and it’s ok to not be okay. If you want a listening ear, you can reach out to me at rachel.schwarzman@gmail.com, or contact me on Facebook.
Please know that the entire Barnard community is holding you in our hearts, from across the years and around the globe. Sending you a virtual hug from Israel!
Rachel Schwarzman, ’14
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Dear Barnard Student,
You are warm, you are wise, you are courageous, you are big. We stand together during this tragic time.
Michelle Perna, DDS, Class of 2004
pernadentistonpark@gmail.com
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To the bold, beautiful Barnard woman reading this: I want you to know that you are not alone. Your friends, family, and the extended Barnard community is here if you need us. There’s really nothing to be said in times as dark as this, but we can be there for one another, so be there for your friends and your community. I know we don’t know each other, but from one Barnard woman to another, feel free to reach out if you want to talk or meet up for a hot chocolate. I live in Brooklyn, so it’s only a train ride away.
— Devra Ferst, BC ’07
devraferst@gmail.com
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To a beautiful, bold, Barnard sister,
I’m a 2013 alumna of Barnard and am completely devastated by what happened to one of our community members. I can’t imagine what you’re going through as a current student, but please know that the alumnae community is with you through this. Please hold your loved ones tight, be extremely kind to yourself. and do whatever you need to do to make it through this time. I’m here if you need anything.
– Alexandra Friedman / BC’13 / alexandrajfriedman@gmail.com
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Dear First Year Barnard Student: Congratulations! I know it might seem scary and hard now, but I’m so proud of you for getting to where you are now. You worked so so hard, and it’s hard to remember that in amongst the studying everyday.
Now, I don’t know what it’s like to lose a fellow classmate in my first year, and I can’t fathom the pain you must feel. But I want you to know that everyone at Barnard is on your side, and all the professors, students and alums are rooting for you. You are now part of a family forever and we will always be there for you.
I wouldn’t be who I was, a proud strong queer woman, a feminist, at grad school if it wasn’t for my time at Barnard. Barnard is really stressful and scary but it is also loving and beautiful. It will help you when you need it most. I am always here for you, as are countless of other people. We are here for you and sending our love.
Kat Whatley Class of 2017 kwhatley@stanford.edu
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Dear fellow Barnard sister,
Your older Barnard sisters are absolutely devastated to hear about this unthinkable tragedy. I can only imagine the shock and heartbreak you are all feeling right now. We are here to lift you up and support you if any way we can. I am close by on the upper west side and am available to meet for tea, or to call or text anytime. Please don’t hesitate to reach out, as we are a sisterhood and need each other in times like this.
Sending love,
Robin Campbell BC’00
Robbiemcamp@gmail.com
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Dear Barnard Sister,
You shouldn’t have to be going through this. You should be wallowing in the mundane misery of final prep, which shouldn’t have to seem mundane to you yet. You’re not supposed to long for that simplicity until much later. I’m so sorry that won’t be your memory of your 1st semester at Barnard. You’re being forced to grow up in a way no one should ever have to and that I admit I never have. It’s hard to find a silver lining care and almost feels disrespectful to try. I want to encourage you to embrace the community that this awful thing has brought to light. Barnard is very much of its place in that it’s hardly a typical college community culture but cut past the surface during a crisis and we’re all here for each other. Reach out for comfort and comfort your classmates. Let yourself feel all your feelings with acceptance and without judgment as you process this. And don’t give in to fear. Use caution. Use judgment. But I’m sure you came to Barnard and New York City for a reason. Remember what that was and don’t stop striving and dreaming.
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Dear Barnard sister, I am so sorry for the loss of your classmate. With upcoming finals, I want you to know that if you need anything during this time, the Barnard alumni community is here to support you. If you just want to talk or connect, my name is Riya (class of 2015). Sending so much love, light, and strength your way.
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Dear Barnard Sisters,
I can’t imagine the grief, discomfort, and confusion that you must be experiencing right now. Tragedy is a foreign place to be. It terrifies me to think that any Barnard women, current student and alumnae, could ever be vulnerable or unprotected. We are truly all Bold, Beautiful, Brave Barnard women, drawn to this school for our fierce lioness personalities, as well as our charisma, wit, and dogged determination to create the best futures we can imagine for ourselves. I urge you to hold on to this truth, that these traits, which you already have, will get you through this difficult time. I graduated from Barnard in 2016 and am now in medical school. I could not have gotten to where I am today without the exceptional support, encouragement, and warm home that Barnard made for me. Depend on those resources now more than ever and know that the Barnard bond doesn’t disappear once you graduate. The alumni community grieves for you all and we send our thoughts and prayers to you. I am happy to be a listening ear of support if you will find it helpful. Be well.
Christina LaGamma BC2016 clagamma@pennstatehealth.psu.edu
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Dear Strong, Bold, Beautiful Barnard sister,
In the best of times, this end of the semester of your first year can be a disorienting mix of relief, happiness (you did it! finished a semester!), and trepidation (what next? Whatever drama winter break may hold). And these are not the best of times. I was heartbroken to hear about Tessa’s murder. Even 12.5 years after my Barnard graduation, I think of Barnard as a safe and warm space, and I know that that may feel like it’s been shattered. My advice to you (take it or leave it) is to lean on your Barnard community even as you scatter for winter break. Use Barnard’s resources (I found Furman super helpful) if you need. Set up times to check in with your Barnard friends over break. And make sure to reach out to other family and friends that are nearby. You are all so strong, and I am thinking of you from Washington D.C.
Love,
Leora BC ‘07 leora.falk@gmail.com
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Dear Bold Beautiful Barnard student,
I cannot fathom the grief and pain you feel during this difficult time. I remember how stressed I was for my first Barnard exams and the fact that you have to go through this right now is breaking my heart. You have Barnard alums across the world who are mourning Tess, as she was a member of our family, the Barnard family. Even though I don’t know you, you are also a part of my family. I hope you have learned in your short time at Barnard that you have so many people looking out for you who don’t yet know your name. Please take care of yourself; work does not need to be a priority right now and every professor and administrator should understand that. Never feel ashamed to use Barnard’s resources (including Furman, Nightline peer listening, Well Woman), whether you need that tomorrow or three years from now. It’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling right now.
With love,
Madelyn Baker (class of 2019)
Please feel free to reach out to me for anything at all, I live in Manhattan:
maddy962@gmail.com
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Dear Bold, Beautiful Barnard Woman,
This unthinkable tragedy has broken our hearts off campus, so I cannot even imagine the experience you are having as a student on campus right now. I want you to know that Barnard women all over the world are thinking of you right now and sending strength and comfort to the entire Barnard community.
My memories and experiences at Barnard are some of the greatest of my life. The things I learned, friends I made, and courage I gained made me who I am. If there is anything positive that comes out of this experience, it will be teaching you first hand the power of the Barnard and Columbia community. Hold your friends close, lean on them when you need support, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
Wishing you love and light,
Talia Klein
Barnard 2013
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A note to a Barnard Student. Hello, I’m Perri and I’m a graduate from the class of 2016. I also worked as an admissions counselor at Barnard until this August. I’m writing to express my sadness for the loss of one of our own. I am here to support you and grieve with you. It’s unfair, unthinkable and devastating. Please know that the alumni community is holding you in our hearts. Take care of yourself, love your friends. Honor the process of grief. Wishing you all the best and sending so much love. -Perri Meeks BC’16 (meeks.perri@gmail.com)
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Dear Barnard bear,
My heart and all of my thoughts are with you and the freshman class right now. It doesn’t feel like four years ago that I was in your place, minus the tragedy – it’s been hard enough for me to be away from Barnard, which has always felt like a home to me, and I can’t imagine what you and the students on campus are feeling right now.
There are so many wonderful things about this community that you’ve become a part of as a Barnard student, but my favorite is the support that we’ve always offered each other – students to students, alumnae to students, students to the world. The full force of that support and community is with you right now. Barnard is a place for you to be fierce, to be adventurous, to be creative and passionate and strong and vulnerable – but above all, it is a place for you to love and be loved. Generations of Barnard sisters are with you right now in spirit, and if you need one of them to talk to and support you, I’m only an email away (sophiekkoss@gmail.com). Know that you’re loved and that there are thousands of us who believe in you.
Sophie Kossakowski, class of 2019
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While it may have been many years since I was a first year student I remember it like it was yesterday. I didn’t realize then what I know now. My class may have had 500 women in it but my sisterhood had a hundred times that amount.
You are not alone. We are one Barnard. We have your back.
With love and sisterhood,
Jennifer Jackson-Strage. BC ‘89
West Palm Beach, FL
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Dear bold beautiful Barnard student,
I am not sure if anyone knows how to respond to a tragedy like this. It’s heartbreaking to realize that we’ve lost a friend, a community member, a daughter and a mentor in a place where we all frequently pass; and so violently too. But I do think it is times like these where we can stand up and rise above. Live a life for a legacy in Tess’s honor. It won’t bring her back, or change what happened but as Barnard women, we are bread to be unafraid. Please don’t hesitate if you reach out if you need to talk, as a community we are all here for one another. Best of luck on finals and excited to see how Tess’s lives on by your actions.
Best,
Hannah Rosenwein
Class 2015
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Dear Fellow Barnard Member,
What a tough time this must be on campus, I can’t even imagine. I know you are new to the Barnard community and I can remember being a first year – you feel unsure and maybe uncertain of your place or even if Barnard is your place. Let me tell you, you do belong. Barnard is such an incredibly special community. You were selected to be a part of the Barnard community because you possess the qualities of intelligence and boldness that create the community I love so dearly. I know this is a hard time, but I promise you this community is one of the strongest you’ll ever know. Each Alumna is here to support you just as much as your fellow first years and current students. I personally want to say, if you need something, I am here. I have never left New York City after coming to Barnard because Barnard made me fall so deeply in love with New York City.
Stay strong in these coming days and weeks, remember that you’re brilliant and bold like every other Barnard student and know that you have a community here to love and support you, including myself.
Sending much love your way!
Zoe
Barnard 2015
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My Dear Barnard Sister,
Whatever you are feeling right now is valid, appropriate, and real.
You are allowed to be sad.
You are allowed to be scared.
You are allowed to be angry.
You are allowed to feel nothing at all.
But also know: you are not alone. You have sisters on your campus. You have sisters in your city. You have sisters around the world. We are here to support you. I will be here to support you. However you want (or don’t want).
I am so sorry for this immense loss. We grieve in this moment together.
With love,
Sofia Soto Reyes, BC’ 15
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To a strong, bold, beautiful Barnard sister,
I was heartbroken to hear the news about your classmate, Tessa, and I wanted to offer my love and support from afar. It was ten years ago that I myself was a Barnard first year living in Brooks Hall and preparing for my first college final exam period. Although that may seem like a long period of time, I can remember it as if I was there with you right now. I cannot imagine the shock and pain that you are experiencing at this time.
If there is one thing I do know, it is that there is a magic that emanates from our small and bold campus. The love and support that you feel at this moment during a time of grief will come to define your years at Barnard. It will also carry you and your friends through moments of triumph, happiness, fear, and sadness. In the days and months ahead, hold your fellow Barnard women close and draw upon the community as you need. Carry Tessa with you as you continue at Barnard, explore your curiosities, and find new passions.
The women who came before you are grieving with you, support you, and stand with you. Please reach out if you need anything.
Warmly,
Rebecca Baehr
Class of 2013
rebecca.baehr@gmail.com
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Dear bold brilliant barnard student,
I am so devastated by the loss of Tess. While I never met her, I feel a kindred connection to her just like I do with anyone I meet who also went to Barnard. While no doubt a challenging place with lots of complex dynamics, Barnard college shaped me into the person, feminist, scholar, activist, critical thinker, and empath i am today. i feel continuously grateful that i found my way into such a special place. in light of this tragedy, i hope you too can find comfort in your community – both those with you on campus and the wide network of us alumnae scattered across the country and the world. while we all deeply feel the loss of one of our own and its seems impossible to make sense of such a terrible event, i also find deep strength from pulling close those dear to me who also love barnard. may this community give you strength through this tragedy and also beyond into the many triumphs, challenges, losses, births, and growths that will no doubt come to you as well.
in the days ahead, don’t forget to drink a lot of water, eat nourishing things, cry when it feels right, laugh when it feels right, sleep as much or as little as you need, and ask for help as often as you need it. we are all here for you.
All my love,
Emily Klein, Barnard College Class of 2015
esklein8@gmail.com
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Dear Barnard Sister/Sibling/Student,
In this terrible time while the Barnard community is grieving the loss of Tess Majors, I want to reach out to tell you that all of the Barnard alumnae are here with you for support and in solidarity.
Though there are challenges ahead, know that you do not need to face them alone. You may already be aware of the support Barnard offers through Furman, the Deans office etc. but please also know that you can rely on Barnard students–past and present as well. Should you need anything–a place to spend some time away from campus for a bit, someone to listen or anything please feel free to reach out with the contact info below.
You are part of a community that is here for each other always.
Love,
Anna Stoneman BC ’18
annastoneman06@gmail.com
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Hi there,
My freshman year at Barnard was scary and exciting – I was homesick and overwhelmed, but throughout that year I became a stronger person, I learned so much about myself, I met some of the most amazing people I know and still call close friends. Barnard became my home and it set me squarely on the path I am on now, 10 years later.
The idea of that being stolen away from any young person when they are just starting out on their journey is so heartbreaking and awful. I want you and everyone on campus to know how many alumni love and support you, no matter what you are feeling or going through.
Please know that you can reach out for help whenever you need it,
Cassie Spodak
Barnard 2009
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During difficult times like these, it is important for us to stick together as a community. Take care of yourself, take care of each other, and know that I am here if you need someone to talk to.
Emma Barnett (Class of 2019)
emmabarnett@gmail.com
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Dear Barnard Sister,
Although there are no words that may provide you comfort, bring back your classmate or return your feeling of safety; as your Barnard sister I want you to know that you are not alone. In fact, all around NYC and our country there are people thinking of you and wishing you comfort.
I am really sorry that your first year at Barnard has been marked by such a tragic and horrible loss. Barnard is truly a remarkable place with a unique community and a sisterhood that lasts a lifetime. Even if the world seems just too unfair and unkind right now, please know that you are in a community that will lift you and hold you until your heart feels ready. As a member of the Barnard family, you are not alone. I am not too far away (I grew up & live a few blocks from campus- like five blocks south!) and I am available to connect with and support you during this tragedy.
The next few days and weeks may feel dark, long, and difficult, but I trust that you will be strong, and that you will lean on those who are here to support you. You, Tessa’s family, and the entire Barnard community are in my prayers and thoughts.
With sympathy and in solidarity,
Denise
Class of 2002
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Dear Bold Beautiful Barnard first year,
Please know that we, current students and Barnard graduates, are family and that you are loved. If you need support, I am here for you as well as the entire, global Barnard network. We are all grieving with you and I hope you know you are not alone.
Gwen Gallagher, 2015
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Dear Barnard student,
What you have been through this week has been unbearable. As a recent alum, I still can picture myself as a first-year student at Barnard, unaware of what my future would hold and eager to explore this amazing city. I can not imagine what it would feel like at that time to have a classmate of mine so brutally taken from this world. Just know that you are stronger than you know, and you have the entire Barnard network as a support system in this difficult time and for the rest of your life. Tragedies such as these are absolutely senseless and it can feel impossible to carry on. All we can do is join together, lean on each other, and honor Tessa’s memory however we can. We are here for you, we love you, and together we are #Barnardstrong.
All of my love,
Gabriella Sobol Silverstein, BC Class of 2018
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Dear fellow Barnardian,
I am writing you from New Orleans where I have been thinking constantly this week about my time at Barnard and the current group of incredible students who must be absolutely devastated and at a complete loss at how to move forward. I hope that you can take strength from the decades of Barnard alums who are standing with you, all over the country and all over the world. We can love and celebrate Tess’ life and also draw on our collective strength to power forward. I am confident that Barnard as a community will treasure Tess’ memory and solidify her importance in the school’s history. I am also confident that the immediate grief and difficulty of this moment will lessen with time. Reach out to the people you love, don’t take a single moment for granted. And don’t forget that Barnard is a community of beautiful and interesting people, on and off campus, who have so much to offer you, if and when you need it.
Feel free to reach out,
Eva Kalikoff
Class of 2016
emkalikoff@gmail.com
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Dear Bold, Beautiful, Barnard First Year,
Please know you are being held in the hearts of your whole community, including the Barnard alum who are thinking of you from all over the country and the world. I too had a shocking and horrific event my first semester at Barnard when 9/11 happened. It can be hard to fathom a “normal” college experience when something so tragic occurs. Trust that this will bring you closer to your community and that you will be supported. Trust that so many more positive experiences over the next four years will contribute to the definition of your college experience. I have gone on to become a counselor, in part because I knew my instinct and desire to help in the face of tragedy was very real after my first semester at Barnard. Sending you love and support from Minneapolis, MN. Please reach out if there’s anything I can do.
Warmly,
Jill Thompson BC’05 (jillcthompson@gmail.com)
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To My Dear Barnard Community,
I send my deepest condolences for the loss our collective community and your present on campus community is going through.
I was at Barnard during 9/11, and saw exactly what happens when the Barnard community needs to rally. While the circumstances were different, the foundation of the situations are similar – a tragic event occurred, all students were affected either directly or indirectly, and we needed to come together to support one another.
No one individual or community should ever have to maneuver such tragedy, but I am thankful you all have this extended community to help you through this time when you need it. I send you hugs, and I send you support during your journey of mourning.
Best,
Erika Palmer ShenBC ‘02
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Dear Strong, Beautiful Barnard Sister,
We are here for you. You are not alone in your grief.
We are a strong tight-knit community, and you must lean on one another for strength and support now more than ever.
Through the loss of loved ones, I’ve taken consolation in these words:
I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
– e.e. cummings
With love,
Carmen Romero
Barnard Class of 2013
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Dear Bold, Beautiful, Barnard freshman,
I am so sorry for the loss of your classmate. With upcoming finals, I want you to know that if you need anything during this time, the Barnard alumni community is here to support you. If you just want to talk or connect, my name is Riya (class of 2015).
Sending so much love, light, and strength your way.
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Dear Barnard First-Year,
My name is Jillian Shea; I’m a part of the class of 2019 and majored in English and minored in Urban teaching. I’m writing to you to express my deep sorrow regarding Tessa Majors’ passing and to offer you any support I can. First, I want to remind you that there is no correct way to grieve. Some people, like myself, will feel greatly affected by her passing even when they haven’t met her; others will feel badly that they haven’t been more shaken by her passing. Some people will grieve by crying to their friends; others will grieve quietly alone in their bedrooms. Some people will need to ask for extensions on assignments in order to have time to process things; others will prefer to stay on schedule with their routine because it provides a sense of normality to their lives. Be patient with yourself throughout this process. It’s okay to feel confused and to not know what you need or want in terms of support during this time. Second, I’ve realized that I have been so personally impacted by this tragedy because I feel so deeply connected to Barnard as a school and community. While I learned so much in terms of academics, what I really took away from Barnard is an amazing group of friends and an amazing alumnae network that wants to continually support Barnard and its students. Please know that you are not alone. We are here for you; we want to help you and to love you. I’m currently living about 4 hours north of the city, but if there is anything I can do to help you (even if it’s just to talk), please reach out to me at jms2427@alum.barnard.edu. Love, Jillian
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Dear my strong, brilliant Barnard sister,
I have been making a lot of space in my heart this week for Tessa Majors and her loved ones, for the Barnard and Morningside Heights and Harlem communities, and also very much for Tessa’s fellow classmates who are still in their first semesters. I do not know who will end up reading this — I am sure that depending on your own life experiences, you may be processing many different personal reactions to this tremendous loss — but I did want to reach out and offer my heartfelt love and solidarity. I have been so touched to read about the current student community’s efforts to go through this together and with support. I hope that you have been able to get the kind of support that you need as an individual, and that you are able to be gentle and kind with yourself in this week and in the weeks ahead. The entire alumnae community is thinking of you, and I too am here if you should need additional support or someone to talk to.
With love,
Lani Oshima ’09 laniosh@gmail.com
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Dear Barnard student,
My name is Amy and I graduated in 2000. I was a Poli Sci major and Environmental Science minor. As a prospective student, student and alum I enjoyed any interaction I had with Barnard alum and I was so inspired by their strength, tenacity, persistence, and determination. Please know that I commit myself to always being available for you whenever you need me. Remember you are never alone. Even though we’ve never met, you are close to my heart. I live in Seattle but come to NY often. I’d love to take you out for a meal when I come to town next.
Big hugs,
Amy
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Dearly beloved, fierce Barnard student,
In this time of grief, I want you to count to 10 with me and breathe. Those 2 things only. Inhale – 1 – exhale. Inhale – 2 – exhale. Inhale – 3 – exhale. Inhale – 4 – exhale. Inhale – 5 – exhale. You are strong. You are loved. Inhale – 6 – exhale . Inhale – 7 – exhale. Inhale – 8 – exhale. You have the support of your Barnard community. Inhale – 9 – exhale. Inhale – 10 – exhale. You have the right to be angry. You are right to feel all the emotions and be lost in them. And so, as we grieve for the young promise that was brutally taken away from us, take some time for yourself. You deserve, in the turmoil and always, to put yourself first. To let yourself be, to find confort. Reach out to me – to your new friends, your old friends, your family. We are here to listen, to support, to advise. I – and fellow alumnae – are very proud of you, and we wish for you to succeed in your endeavours. Hold fast to your dreams which no one nor nothing can take away from you. And take your time. Keep on being the bold voice, the strong soul, the growing human that you are.
With love,
Tiffany H. Class 18’ (from Switzerland)
Dear beautiful bold brave Barnard woman,
I’m so very sorry that you might be suffering. 24 years ago, I stepped on campus as a first year, full of hope and trepidation. We are all part of the same walk on our separate journeys. Those of us who’ve come before and walked those halls and slept in those dorms and hoped for the best are with you and mourn the loss of one of our own. We are taught from day one that we are now lifelong Barnard women. This has meant so much to me, even when I didn’t feel worthy of the monicker, and all these years later I’m here to tell you that no matter what, you’ll always be a bold beautiful and fierce Barnard woman. And so will Tessa. None of this makes sense, but this world is not here to make sense; it’s for us to make sense of it; to find love in tragedy and to find find strength in that for which we did not know we would need to be strong. Your pain is mine. I’m here, scars and all to tell you that you are not alone and never will be. I’m here for you as I know you’ll be there for the next women who walk through those hallowed gates.
With love,
Preeti Rachel Davidson O’Brien Class of 2000
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Dear you, Bold, Beautiful Barnard student,
All of it together can feel like too much, which is why we must take it one step at a time. In the next few weeks, listen to what you feel right now and what you might need to feel better – to be sad, to be angry, to be active or be quiet, to sleep, to breathe, to talk to someone or create art. Remember that there are people at Barnard who will hold you or sit with you; there are spaces where you can do whatever feels right. Remember that all you need to do is be okay, be well, and that is enough. You are loved. Stay strong, and please reach out if you need someone.
Erin Wong, BC ‘17 erinxwong@gmail.com
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Dear Fellow Barnard Student,
I am so sorry to learn about such a tragic loss of your peer, Tessa. I have not stopped thinking about Tessa and the Barnard community since I first heard the news. I can’t imagine the feelings that have permeated through, the quad, Hewitt, the Diana, or all of campus. First year has so many challenges and your first semester ended with such devastation. In the coming semesters I hope that you build new friendships, discover new passions, feel energized, meet mentors, and learn even more about yourself. Know that there is a group of woman who are thinking about all of you and who want you to know that you are supported by the bond and force of the Barnard community. I know that I have continued to find strength since graduation in realizing that I am forever united to a group of bold and beautiful Barnard students and graduates. I hope that the pain of your grief lessens with time.
Rachel
BC ‘15
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IF YOU ARE STILL READING, PLEASE KNOW THAT MORE LETTERS FROM ALUMNAE COMING SOON! ❤
Strong, Bold, Beautiful Barnard First-Years… 